ILLUSIONS



My mind drifts backwards...slowly...wistfully and...questionably, to 
the forks in the road. Some would call it the road less traveled, the 
path not taken, or the decision that was not made, but...what if? The 
forks in the road indicate a moment in time that we could have changed 
our course, therefore changing our life and our future. A time we could 
have taken a different path, a time that represents a vivid...painful...
line in our minds of...before and...after. But if my mind drifts back a 
little further...I still see pain and disappointment. I still see dreams
that were not fulfilled. I still see heart-ache and loss and grief. I 
still see paths that were not taken. I see a less than perfect person, 
with a less than perfect life. I see a different person... a person that 
thought she knew what she wanted and where she was going. But maybe that 
was a false path, only an illusion in my mind. Maybe none of us ever really 
knew  where our lives were heading...maybe it was just an illusion. Maybe 
that sense of control we thought we had over our lives was just an illusion. 
As my mind starts drifting slowly...forward in time, I see a new person. I 
see that the forks in the road are still there. I want to take the right 
path, but what if it is only an illusion? An illusion, is defined as an 
erroneous  perception of reality. Could that possibly be the key? If I 
consider what I know to be real, what life has taught me through all the 
different and difficult forks in the road, could I possibly see things 
with correct perception? Could I take the right path? I perceive an 
incredible amount of wasted time, where beauty and joy were not within my 
grasp...this is no illusion. I perceive time and energy trying to change 
things that were not within my ability to change...this is no illusion. 
I perceive a lost spark that at one time shined from within...this is no 
illusion. But as my mind drifts forward in time to this moment, to this 
fork in the road...I see that if I open my heart, I can again appreciate 
beauty and feel joy. I donít have any extra energy so I will no longer 
waste any trying to change things I cannot change.
And if I look really close, I see a glimmer of a spark from within...trying 
to shine brighter...and...brighter.

by: Debbie Wilson   
    5-15-96

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