My quality of life, the Doctor said, is very good,
except, he implied, what's in my head.
I thought awhile about his perspective
and wondered if he would feel the same
if somehow what I experience could be reflected,
and he could live this life as it is
and not as it is ignorantly expected.
Visible, or invisible, loss of health is hard.
When I look as you do there is no regard
for the struggle and pain and suffered limitations,
blindly accepted but not acknowledged, or felt an obligation,
to hear and see and try to understand;
easier to blame than extend a hand.
The nighttimes of wakefulness, the days in a haze,
concentration an effort, emotion a maze,
merry-go-round dizziness and nausea too,
headaches, infections, and clutter out the kazoo.
My social life is now only e-mail,
yet I cannot keep up.
The dishes are piled and a shower is due.
My career is lost, and any job too.
Now my memory is a problem,
I forgot what I said.
My family? I don't know, I think they are dead.
I am fine, you say, why do I ask?
Never mind... I just realized
it is an impossible task.
© 2000 Stephanie H. St. Claire
"Life is short, and you can't take it with you. Spend it well while you are here."