The Wedding Party.

 

 

You know it's all over when  the last function you attend as a couple is someone else's 

wedding. Muriel and Teddy's as a matter  of record.   Muriel was an old friend of Rushki's  sister; and Teddy?, well Teddy was a kind of putzy- Italian-Australian-guy. Kind of a  Mama's boy and soft, but otherwise alright. I  hardly knew them.

 

Rushki and I were on the 'out's' and it  was obvious to everyone things were not good. 

We painfully put on brave smiles for  the day and sort of avoided each other at the 

reception. When her father saw me,  he was already a couple of drinks ahead of me and wasn't concealing his disdain for me.  In fact he'd like nothing better than to backhand me to death with a tennis racket if he'd had one. Rushki's mother scowled at  me from across the table, her eyes said it all. 'You're  the non-Kiwi bastard who's sleeping with my daughter!   You're the one who writes those disgusting poems.'  Rushki's brother was there also, he'd like nothing better than to help his Dad dispose of my body once the deed was done.

 

 

I was in my own zone at the time and I decided the best thing to do was to tell as many foul jokes as I could remember. Might as well make a clean break using the only defensive weapons I had.

 

It had been raining earlier in the day  but had cleared up just in time to shoot happysnaps of the grinning bridal party outside. Grim smiles all around.  I looked across the parking lot  and saw Rushki  staring at me. She looked beautiful.   I cannot take my eyes off her. Her eyes are soft and saddened and we just gaze at each other as though we are the only two  people there.

 

Rushki's sister came over to me and  asked for a light for her cigarette and I  oblige.   I've always liked Lynnette, I sensed  she liked me a little also. She sees I'm returning 

Rushki's gaze and asked me if I'm alright. I told her I wasn't. She squeezed  my arm and said; "Do you really love her as much as it shows?" I told her, "More than that."

 

She said was sad for us. I thanked her for her kindness.

 

 

I don't remember all the details of  that day but I know I was very dark and brooding, in the center of such joy and celebration. I  found it ironic to be in the middle of such heartache in the middle of someone else's joyous  beginning.

 

 

The words to Leonard Cohen's  'That's no way to say goodbye', echoed through my 

mind. How can I say goodbye to a woman who still liked me, but no longer loved  me?  When all I wanted in the world was  to hold her in my arms and cling  to her tightly and beg her to not to leave me.